Friday, January 25, 2008

Recap : Vogue Party

vogue

n 1: the popular taste at a given time;


As guests like The White Stripes, Jet and The Faint were walking in, I decided since it was early, I would play some cool rock shit including Sonic Youth, The Pixies, Blonde Redhead, etc. The girl from Vogue who was in charge came running over... "Could you turn this crap off and put on some hip hop please ?!!"

Good Times...

The party was sponored by Motorola, so there were models walking around with new phones pretending to talk on them as part of the theme of the night. They normally do that anyways..

I didn't get a free phone, but I was offered a good deal on one...

I played an East Indian set and an East Indian girl came over and said, "Do you have any Britney?"

(Tall Blonde Model) "Do you have that song.. uh... um... you know, that one they're playing on the radio all the time? "
"I don't listen to the radio"
"You know, that black guy sings it..."
"Just walk away"

There was a guy who looked and dressed like Gilligan that was on some sort of hallucinogen. He would come over and smile at me, then lay down on the dancefloor and cry.

A girl asked for Portishead. She was wearing all black.

There was a guy who always goes out to every party, drinking the same drink and asking girls the same questions, only to, once again, go home alone and contemplate where he went wrong...

Along with the models walking around serving appetizers, the chef would make an appearance, offering guests his latest (boring) creations. He asked me, "Pasrty filled with cream cheese?"
"Three words... Mushroom Phyllo Triangles...."

A girl fell on the dancefloor and people laughed at her.

Hillary Duff asked me to play Ashley Simpson. Cute. Lame, but cute.

A girl asked if she could borrow a cd cover for a few minutes. She came back and handed it to me with coke residue all over it...
"Now I know that one cocaine effect, appetite suppression, is very popular for people looking to lose weight or maintain a low weight. Fashion models have been known to use cocaine in order to stay thin. But did you know that cocaine can cause convulsions,
seizures, stroke, cerebral hemorrhage and even heart failure? Now go sit in the corner and reflect on your horrible behavior."
...just barely enough left on the cd for me to get a freeze..

There was a camera crew following around a group of good looking, super trendy "in" guys and girls. I think they were filming the pilot for the new reality series, "We Look Absolutely Amazing, There's Gotta Be A Red Carpet Party We Can Crash! Let's Go!"

I love how everyone tells you what they're working on these days and never once thinks to ask you how you're doing...

Paris was there.
Nikki was not.
Over Paris.
Into Nikki.

"I just got Serato and I was wondering if I could pay you to borrow your hard drive so I could have all the music you have?"
"Could I pay you to take the Serato back to wherever you got it and refuse to join in with everyone else who is becoming a DJ but lacking in the musical knowledge, the technical and transitional skills it takes to actually be one?"

One of the editors from Vogue came up to me and said, "You know what would be perfect right now? Chris Brown. His new song is amazing and has a real funky inspiration. You would really get this party going with that if you put it on RIGHT NOW!"
"You know what the perfect accent for your cardigan and your pencil skirt? How about a piece of estate jewelry or a piece that looks convincingly real. Brooches are making a huge comeback: no surprise so since they've been sported by fashionistas like Sarah Jessica Parker. The freshest way to wear major jewelry this season is to pair it almost off-handedly... Pearls mixed with a white shirt, vest and faded denim or wear a sparkly brooch in your hair. They have a real hip hop star / Elisabeth Taylor inspiration, dont you think?"

Random quotes from the party:

"Must finish drink...
Must finish drink...
Then will have fun...
Then will have fun..."

"Ahhhhh....
Now have fun......"

"Um.. Debbie... You are such a liar... That is NOT the Punjabi MC... "

"That's DEFINATELY NOT my hairpiece you're stepping on...."

"NO SILLY! Martinis in left hand...
now, throw up your right..."

"Damn... Desperately Seeking Susan night
was LAST night..."

Cigarettes : 6
Carbs: 0
Vodka/Sodas : 4
Britney requests: 5
Britney spins : 0
Reality shows being filmed : 3
Lame marketing ideas for Motorolla : 3
Dumb models: innumerable
People I related with : 1 (but only when he was lying on the dancefloor crying..)
Times I thought how wrong it was to look at Hillary Duff's ass : 1
Times I actually looked: 3 or 4
Employees of Vogue who sucked : 2
Tips: $20 for "Rockin my world, dude!!"
Pairs of Uggs : 2 (C'mon already)
Rooms that were way too bright with no vibe that people were forced to dance in : 1
Times I wished it was 1994 and I was spinning at a Black Moon show : all night

1 comment:

Lauren said...

sounds like good clean fun

*sarcasm*

next time it could be better hopefully?