Friday, January 25, 2008

Recap... Jermaine Dupri / Janet Jackson Party @ Monroes

Sponored by 3 Vodka...
Free 3 Vodka for everyone....
Distilled from soy...
No carbs...

Oh yeah... tates like shit...

The sheriff was there before the party started...
I overheard him say, "I don't care, black people don't listen.."

Usher referred to himself in third person again...
yeah...

Blonde : "Do you think Janet will care if you play Michael?"
"Well, she didn't care when her father did..."

White girls who speak like they're black are neat..

Warren G asked me to play 'Regulators'...
Sure, one sec, Coolio just asked me for 'Gangsta's Paradise', you're gonna have to wait your turn...

Mariah was faded...
She hung out in the booth with me and Jermaine for a while...
She asked me to play 'Virgo' by Nas...
Nice request...
Bad breath...

Alisha Keys wanted to hear Prince...
Go figure...

12:43 A girl tries to get into the VIP section but gets denied.
12:44 She does a line in the bathroom.
12:45 She is in her own VIP section complete with a feeling of euphoria, excitement, reduced hunger and a feeling of strength, not to mention dizziness, a headache, movement problems, anxiety, insomnia, depression and hallucinations.
VIP rules!

Jamie Foxx bumped a girl and made her drop her drink...
Still in character I see..

There was this girl in the VIP area that was trying way too hard to be sexy. She was super drunk and sitting up on the back of a big chair, singing the wrong words to all the songs. She fell off the back of the chair onto the floor... One of those long, drawn out falls that seems like it takes forever... First back onto someone, then over onto her side, then face down onto the floor... People had to help her up... Needless to say, she didn't stay in VIP too much longer...

Star Jones was raising the roof...
Who raises the roof anymore?
C'mon Star, ask Al for a little help...

Ice Cube was there...
DMX was there...
Rappers turned actors are neat...

Da Brat was an asshole...
Da Asshole...

Jermaine had a diamond watch bigger than himself..
Janet's ass was bigger than Jermaine as well...

'Drop It Like It's Hot' is the new "Yeah"...
over it...

At one point, right before the party really got going, Jermaine told the crowd to stop standing around acting Hollywood...
Welcome to my world Jermaine...

A girl asked if I could play some hip hop..
I was playing Mobb Deep...
New Jacks...

I got a contact high from all the weed smoke in the booth..
Thanks Warren, Regulators coming right up, I swear...

A girl offered me $1 to hold her coat..

Security found a g-string in the VIP section after everyone was gone...
Probably the girl who wanted me to hold her coat...

Cigarettes : 0
Carbs : 0
Vodka and sodas : 4
Bad outfits : 29
Times I got caught looking at Mariah's cleavage : 1
Times Da Brat gave me a dirty look for no reason : 7
Fake Prada bags : 12
Pimp cups : 2
$39 Parking tickets : 1
Requests for The Game : 9
Times I wondered if people refer to him as "The Game" when speaking to him : 1
Times I wondered if people refer to Da Brat as "Da Brat" when speaking to her: 1
Times this thought was cleared up while listening to people speak to Da Brat and refer to her as "Brat" : 1
Times I was called a "Bad ass white boy" : 3
Times I looked forward to being on tour : 13
Glasses filled with Hypnotiq : 36
Times I will ever drink something Blue : 0
Names I dropped : 13

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